Posted tagged ‘Asking for you’

Underground and Broken Hearted

July 15, 2010

When the end comes

It comes on a slow train,

With doors tightly shut

Until it comes to an all too abrupt stop,

Re-creating you as your own prison guard

Not realising that you are the only

Lonely

Soul

On this abandoned train,

Looking around for company,

For those who started the journey with you

For that special soul who made angel-like promises

You now know are lies,

All gone,

And you know,

This train ain’t moving an inch,

‘Till you too depart.

Damn, It’s over?

But it had only just begun!

© Simon Bucknor

2010

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Staring Out To Sea

February 25, 2010

I exist on an island,

Standing on the shore staring out to sea.

My gaze yearns to excite,

With the sight of an exit in which my heart’s hopes can believe.

Who can I run to?

Where can I turn?

Who can withstand the heat?

Feels like my attempts cause all bridges to spontaneously burn.

Where can I go,

To get what I need?

How can I fool my tongue,

So it’s unparalleled power it believes?

Where can I be heard?

Where can I be helped?

Who can I really run to?

‘Cos my story I’m desperate to tell.

Whose ears work the best?

Who’s linked their ears to a caring heart?

Where can I go to mend myself?

Can I battle the feeling that it’s too late to start?

I’ve tried so many times,

I reach out but see only my own hand

Who’s going to be there to meet me?

When I step off my insular island

I cannot continue to try and fail,

To speak into ears that don’t show they hear,

To reach out and find that still no one’s there,

Increasingly feeling that no one truly cares.

But I will remain set on my question mark and be led by my eyes,

Their movement I feel within me and without, they’re still searching,

My heart and head redundant, tired, spent

Somewhere there must be a place where my hurt can find the beginning of its end.

When I find that person, when I find that place,

When I find that moment, that feeling, that no pain can chase away,

This Island that I stand on the shore of will be an immediate fading memory,

And I will raise my sails, ride the waves and enjoy the prevailing winds of change.

© Simon Bucknor

Help

February 5, 2010

It is in the quiet times

Of distress and solitude

That I need my solitude eroded

By another, by you

Whose arms are stronger than mine own.

When it is my face that cannot be seen,

Childishly squeezing my eyes tight

So that I am hidden in a youthful ignorance

I need to be discovered,

Rescued, taken to your safe place.

It is in the times of silent surrender

I need my shield and sword

Held high by someone, by another

Whose heart is less damaged,

Less resistant to healing than mine own.

When I am seen only as a shadow,

When I am too far gone,

When I can no longer scream

Nor wave my hands to attract your attention.

When, my words become drowned in tears

And the paint from the walls speckle the blood on my fists,

When my knees are tucked under my chin

My head hung under the weight of my life

When my feet will not bring me to your door

My phone won’t dial itself

My email won’t automatically read my mind

And send out a flare that will bring you running

When I am in these unchartered caves

And the level of the water is rising

And death draws near

I need you.

If you can see me when no one else can,

Hearing my burdens crush my spine

When my lips are unmoving

In these times of silent surrender

I need you

For you are my only help.

If it is too late,

You alone will know.

You won’t see my face,

Nor hear the murmurs of my mouth,

My scent will be a mere memory

I will have needed you,

And my need will have passed you by.

It is in this forever silence

That you will realise

You watched my demise.

© Simon Bucknor

05/02/10