Posted tagged ‘Internal battles’

Wait

February 15, 2016

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Disregarded,

Reduced

Shut down

Disappointed

Let Go

Unvalued

Invisible

Untouched

Uncared for

Silent

Cold

Confused

Tired

Worn out

Weary

Scared

Uncomfortable

Too used to this madness

Not alone but very alone

Single

Complicated

Did I do all this to myself

With the touch that so many desire

Did I cause myself to stand by the rivers bank

In the midst of the flood

And expect my feet to remain on solid ground

As mud slides from beneath the concreted street

Falling away leaving devastation

Space,

Wait…

I thought space was a blessing,

A high value commodity,

Yet I stand in Space,

Not alone but alone

In awkward silence, smiles and a muddle happiness

Wondering how ‘Wait’ – one word, with so little to it,

Has meant so much.

 

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Would you stand for it?

July 28, 2012

 

(A Lil tardy – sorry)

Today I saw something that really touched me – it was so powerful in its message that I am a bit shocked that the major aspect was missed by so many in the media and in society in general.  What am I talking about?? London 2012 Flag-gate of course.

There were or are many aspects to this story however what touched me was the passion and unmovable connection between each official, coach and player of the North Korean team and their Identity under their national flag. I am North Korean! That’s what their actions screamed – not disrespecting any other nation but they know who they are.

In this time of such pressures socially and economically do you know, beyond all doubt, who you are?

If someone asked your friend, parent, boss, colleague, partner, child etc  “Who is (Your name here)?”, would they give a similar answer to you?

So early on in these Olympic Games I have been reminded of the importance of making a stand for identity. Not in a ‘throw your toys out of the pram’ way but in a way that evokes all those around you to stand up and respect  your identity and why it means so much to you.

I don’t think too much more needs to be said, I am asking myself who am I and what will I stand for – i ask you the same question.

I am Simon Bucknor and I know who I am!

 

C U Soon

Growth is Key

December 6, 2011

Branching  out is something that is on my mind right now, in so many ways.

The truth behind the words

Branching Out is not just about taking over..

Branching out (or Reaching out or whatever term you prefer to use) in terms of growing and diversifying, in terms of using ‘I Release Me’ to do just that and not just poetry verse, in terms of enlarge my territory, in terms of my diet ventures, in terms of all I am and everything I am doing.

It is going to be a very interesting period as it seems in this very moment, the majority of the western democratic world is attempting to do the same thing…No not branching out, but tightening their belts and reaching out a whole let less. When, in my humble view, that’s the worst thing we could do. It makes total sense to me that actions made in fear, because of fear, dripping in fear like a soggy oil lade banana fritter from a grimy Chinese restaurant are FLAWED like a cheap diamond!

My current hope is that we can begin see just a little more reaching out in every community across society – from London to L.A, From Milton Keynes to Marrakech, from those who can have the ability to really reach out with purpose, with powerful and enduring arms and hearts that can bring about impacting outcomes. And really show how  what I consider to be an unerring fact ……. true humanity is point-blank un-defeatable, not by inept politicians, not by economic or emotional depression, not by a credit-crunch and definitely not by the fear of lack or a fear of what tomorrow may bring.

Growth is Key, TRUE – It is also true that to grow, we must Reach Out. I know there is a season for everything, a time for every action to take place, I just hope that especially as the holiday season draws in, we can see a little more Reaching Out by all – from prince to pauper because it doesn’t take much and has nothing to do with finance. Smile at a stranger and then do the unthinkable…talk to them for 10 seconds – say anything, Check on someone you know needs checking on, call your friend and let them know you were thinking of them, End a feud with a colleague, bring to an end a relationship that just isn’t working (don’t blame anyone, even if they deserve it), be honest with yourself and talk to someone about how often you cry in the dark – Do anything that  grows your world because GROWTH IS KEY.

My reaching out is a simple as this – I am going to write something about my thought, just to release it so it can be as powerful as it desires to be. I Release Me and hope that it encourages someone to do something, to release a little of themselves – Reach Out.

Simon D. Bucknor

Untitled (Suggestions Welcome)

January 16, 2011

Who wins,

These wars between

Bloodied souls?

Between hating hearts and those,

Of no hatred at all?

ATTACK!

Screamed by whisperers unseen,

Warmongering mongrels.

Sharpened tongues,

Splice hearts and minds,

Asunder,

Lovers brutalized by the invasion,

Feral beasts ravage

Unprotected boundaries,

Connections savaged,

In search of witnessed destruction,

By name: Victory.

For what?

Who wins these wars

Of bloodied souls?

Fought for reasons unclear,

Phantasmal riches,

Momentary insolvency of a sound mind,

Secrets confided betrayed, reduced to

Ammunition,

Misuse, alive to spread as wildfire,

Abuse, born and reborn,

Echoed and repeated…

 

© Simon Bucknor

(A snippet taken from an untitled piece from ‘When Cold Air Rises’ and selected poems) due for release first quarter 2011

Any ideas for a title are welcome – I have about 7 at the minute LOL

 

Before the Rainbow

July 15, 2010

It’s raining,

And I have become one with the grime that splashes

as the filthy sky-juice mixes with the dirt that lays on the streets that I walk

Every day.

The more it rains,

The grimier I become,

The more of me that is taken over by the sky-juice /dirt mix,

The more of me I lose to the streets that I walk

Every day,

The less me I become.

And as it rains,

And the skies spit down in jest,

Lightning shining over and over again,

Glorifying my decay

Like a thorny crown resting on my new lox

Causing blood and sweat to drip from my temple,

As thunder strikes out bringing screams from mouths,

I feel myself eroding,

Becoming less me each day,

Until all I remain to be is that mix…

…,

…,

…,

…The dirt of the streets that I walk every day and the filthy sky-juice that fell and created me as grime

And slowly washed me away

Into sewers and blocked drains.

Unrecognizable now,

It’s raining

And I have become one with the grime that lays on the streets I walk

Every day.

No longer me,

No longer human,

No longer reachable

Not by friend nor foe,

Not by Mrs Love or Mistress Lust

Even Dr Anger must wait at Lucifer’s right hand being stroked and held back,

So forgive me if I don’t answer when you call me by my name,

‘Cos I am no longer here.

© Simon D Bucknor

Deep Thoughts, Too Late

May 24, 2010

The dirt must have been dry at some point,

Or they wouldn’t have been able to dig the grave,

Wouldn’t it have slid right back in?

Rolled like a toppling bus on a sloped hillside,

Delivering it’s passengers to their final destination

With or without pressing their Oyster card against the electronic reader,

Thoughts thunder, reverberating against the lined wood surroundings.

I went with a fight and still I fight now,

I want to wake up.

I only wanted to sleep for one night,

But time passed and arrived at my bedside,

My rage unbridled now my soul is on its way away,

I am alive only with anger, livid with my hands, with all of me,

But above all my gormless heart that refuses silence and peace.

A man sat in pain until he could no longer resist the urge to change his situation. He wanted rest, needed rest, craved rest.

He took a sleeping pill, it didnt work.

He took a sleeping pill, it didnt work.

He took a sleeping pill, it didnt work.

He took a sleeping pill, it didnt work.

Soon the pill bottle lay empty, but for the cotton wool.

Sleep came, the pain eased, then came the realisation that death had been invited and had arrived.

© Simon Bucknor

The Frustration

April 4, 2010

I love the person I am

As I exist in the shadows of love

Because it is a me that I can see

Without closing my eyes

And turning my head away

I love the things I say

Even the darkness that escapes

Because it is me, in truth

And lies,

Well lies leave a distinct bitterness

At the end of my tongue

Which no amount of spitting

Or Listerine can rid

I enjoy being myself at times

Seeing the fear I put into others

I like me

The way my footsteps are placed in peace

It’s not arrogance

Nor misplaced self-belief

Just my way of dealing with

The impossibilities of me being anyone else but me.